Turtle Shell

by Chris de Serres

When you are not satisfied with life you get distracted, all the time.  It seems like every day I am looking for the detour.  Looking to turn to something else.  So I don’t have to look at my life.  I don’t have to see how far off my dreams are in the distance.  I don’t have to see how incapable I feel of getting there.  I can only let it weigh on me, just heavy enough not to crush me, but there always.

I don’t like to live life that way.  I’m not even sure how or why I do.  I have a beautiful daughter who I live for.  A beautiful wife who will support me no matter what.

These are all issues i’ve struggled with my entire life.  It goes way back to childhood.  I am used to not receiving the support from family.  I am used to not doing.  My world is of disappointment.  Revealing myself just for a second, just long enough to be dashed.  A moment for my dream to be stepped on and I find myself back in the turtle shell of nothing.