Keep The Rock Moving

by Chris de Serres

Personality is roughly defined as a complex pattern of characteristics that define an individual.  Each year we look at our behaviors and how we responded to them.  We pick out those challenges and vow for change.  For a different result.

We seek a different way of looking at things in this year 2017.  Yet, we have our established way of doing things, of seeing.  Our personality.  It is the most reliable thing about each of us.  It predicts the choices we will make.  It solidifies itself very early in life.  We encounter major life events.  We are given results and we respond to feedback.

Some results change us dramatically, but probably not as dramatically as it may seem.  We are still who we are.  Trauma may alter our perception of how safe our world is, but the same  personality is still working or trying it’s best to.

New Years is a relatively innocuous event each year.  It isn’t impactful over the long term.  We take a day or a week and look back.  We make resolutions.  We judge where we are in life and where we want to be.  I tell myself this time next year I want to be starting graduate school.  Things like that.  But whether it happens is largely removed from this small window of evaluation.

It’s not the New Year that means anything.  Dissatisfaction in the past year is not a great motivator for change.  It’s too shallow level.  There is no depth to it.  It doesn’t touch the real yearnings.  The real core issues in our lives.

Many months ago I started organizing my life.  I took all the things I wanted and needed to do and compiled them.  I set up a system for holding myself accountable.  A set of reminders so that I am forced to go back on everything I am working on.  Essentially I do what we all do at the end of each year, but on a weekly basis.

It’s been hard at times, to be reminded of projects and the seemingly agonizing length it takes to complete them.  I made the decision to do this because I know my personality.  I want to forget my hopes and dreams.  I want to shelf them because the pain of seeing them can feel too much for my heart to bear.  The pain became bearable when I broke each hope down to a sequence of actions.  Bite-sized chunks of activity that I am capable of completing NOW.

I have already accomplished more than I thought I could in just a few months.  I just want to continue on the path.  That is my humble resolution.  Keep the ball in my hands and run.